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Doors Are Meant to be Closed

On November 17, 2017, my life changed drastically. For the first time in my adult life, I was let go from my dream job. A job that I had worked my entire professional life to obtain. In that moment, I felt like my world ended. So many thoughts and emotions overwhelmed me to where I could not think. If you have never felt every emotion known to mankind, let me tell you, it can be a paralyzing feeling. As I drove home, I called my sister and my father to share with them the news. In tears, I tell them that I am unemployed and have no idea what to do next. How was I to pay my bills? Where am I to find a job during this time of the year? It is the middle of the academic year and higher education seldom select new hires during this time of the year. At this moment, I felt like my life was over. A few months earlier during our yearly team retreat, my supervisor asked us if we were not in our current positions, what would we be doing. Never anticipating that I would find myself unemployed three months later, I had always imagined myself traveling the world sharing my story. Although I was in my dream job, I constantly found myself questioning whether I was happy. Many mornings I woke to dread having to get up and go to the office. The ever changing days of higher education had began to feel like a chore instead of a career. I enjoyed working with my students and impacting lives but I no longer found joy in the work. Unfortunately I could not pinpoint whether it was the place or the work but I was unsatisfied. Even though I no longer found satisfaction in the work I was doing, I could never gather the courage to walk away from a steady income. However, sometimes when we are too afraid to do something, life has a tendency to do it for us. Over the last six months, I have asked numerous "what if" questions all pertaining to me stepping out on faith and revisiting what makes me happy. And the irony lies in the famous saying, "be careful what you ask for". One month later, I am have come to the realization of two things: (1) I will be fine. Being unemployed was life closing a door that I could not muster the courage to do; and (2) sometimes we need a push to following our dreams. In the midst of all of the worrying, I was reminded that I have lived a life of dreams never deferred. I have been gifted with everything I have ever asked for and the gifting continues to come. After healing from the pain of losing what I thought was mine, I am ready to embark on a new journey. One door has closed so many others can be opened.

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