When Your Dream Job Becomes a Nightmare: Knowing When It’s Time to Walk Away

I’ve been deeply moved by the feedback on my recent posts, and I’m thrilled that my experiences resonate with so many of you. Recently, someone asked me a pivotal question: How did you know it was time to leave your dream job? This wasn’t just any role. It was the one I’d curated my entire career to achieve—the pinnacle I had carefully mapped out for myself. But as much as the position fit me, the organization didn’t. This realization was both eye-opening and unsettling.

When we embark on a career path, few of us are taught to consider if the organization we’re joining is equipped to support our well-being. Is it a healthy environment where we can genuinely thrive? Does it provide a safe space for authenticity? And most importantly, does it foster emotional, mental, and psychological safety for everyone on the team? These questions often go unasked, especially when we’re caught up in the excitement of landing a coveted role. But they’ve become crucial criteria for me, shaping my perspective on career longevity and fulfillment.

Signs That It Was Time to Go

As a C-Suite Administrator, I was responsible for leading a department. But within a year, I was already feeling the weight of an environment that wasn’t conducive to growth or sustainability. Despite my best efforts and those of my team, the support we needed simply wasn’t there. Every achievement felt like pushing against an unyielding current, with the “needle” never moving as much as we’d hoped. Despite my resilience, I realized that staying would cost me more than just my peace—it would compromise my health.

Walking away from this position felt like the last thing I ever thought I’d do. I had no backup plan, no new job lined up, and no clear direction on what would come next. The uncertainty was terrifying. But the more I weighed my options, the more I understood that staying would mean sacrificing myself. Sometimes, taking a step back is not about giving up; it’s about choosing yourself over survival.

Finding Clarity in Senegal

In the summer of 2022, I found myself in Senegal, visiting a friend who was hosting a wellness retreat for Black women. During those ten days, I had the rare opportunity to reconnect with myself—truly listen to my body, mind, and spirit. For the first time in a long time, I felt clarity, and it hit me: within six months, I would resign.

Back home, I tried to ignore this decision, convincing myself to stick it out, citing strength and resilience. I reminded myself of my mother’s words about the strength of Black women and the enduring spirit of our ancestors. But I also recognized that unlike them, I had the choice to leave, to step away from what was hurting me. The emotional toll of fighting against systems that wouldn’t budge wasn’t something I had to bear indefinitely.

The Breaking Point

By December 2022, my body had enough. I spent an entire day in tears, my body seemingly echoing years of pent-up stress and frustration. I had fought so hard to make an impact in unchangeable environments, and it took a toll I couldn’t ignore anymore. Bessel van der Kolk’s book The Body Keeps the Score kept coming to mind, reminding me of the profound connection between our physical and emotional well-being. My soul was crying out for safety, for healing, for a space to finally rest and recover.

And so, I made the difficult decision. I submitted my resignation by the end of that week. In choosing to leave, I was finally choosing myself.

Surviving vs. Thriving: Where Do You Stand?

Many of us find ourselves in survival mode in our workplaces, fighting just to make it through the day. But our gifts, our talents, can’t flourish in environments where we’re merely surviving. I encourage you to take a moment and reflect: Are you thriving, or are you simply surviving? If it’s the latter, what steps can you take to move towards a place where you can truly thrive?

Leaving my dream job was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made. But it was also one of the most liberating. It taught me the importance of prioritizing well-being over career success and reminded me that we’re all entitled to work in environments that support us.

Listen to your body, your heart, and your mind. Sometimes, they’ll tell you things you don’t want to hear. But trust that inner voice. Because when it’s time to go, staying might cost you more than you’re willing to give.

Let’s continue this conversation. Have you ever faced a similar crossroads? What signs told you it was time to walk away, or are you still finding your way? Share your thoughts —I’d love to hear your story.